In love

This term is so new to me. I never felt this feeling before, though it may sound very cliche to others but to me, this is totally something that is so extraordinary. I always in search for my soul mate, someone who I can share and understand what I felt within. I went out with a couple of dates before, and I always ended up the relationship because I felt that we wasn't meant to be. In a relationship there are always some challenges that we need to go through and some obstacle that we need to solve. And to what degree that a relationship can be so called in love?

Job:
I started to meet and getting close with some of my colleagues. They are sure is a fun group to hang out with. First of all,let me introduced my colleagues:

Ah Hon: (sorry I forgot your full name), he is the surfer boy who loves the beach just like me.

Allen: the birthday boy, I wish you again HAPPY BIRTHDAY and MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE. He is big but he has a bigger heart.

Choon Ming: the Malaysian guy who works in Singapore now. He is a very funny guy and we've been through the hardship together in one of his project.

Ethan: our senior guy whom his look does not match his age. :P

Faiz: our senior guy who always very slow in his responses and same as me, he will just laugh at everything and lighten up the stress environment.

Harry: his laugh can be contagious and he is a very straight forward guy who just say whatever he felt like saying it.

Justin: the know everything guy. He always helps me when it comes to IT problems.

Marcus: the guy who loves Shiraz's boy Omar and Hamza so much. Even copyright their photos and put it as his phone wallpaper.

Mun Wai: our senior who always help me in everything when it comes to work requirement.

Poon: my boss and ya he is my boss.

Shinaz: she is the sporty gal and very outgoing gal. She's fast in her pace, a total opposite of Faiz.

Shiraz: he is my fave because of his spontaneity and he we share the same value in lifestyle.

Wilson: he is really funny and always send me those cute emoticons through msn.

Yee Tee: he is the quiet one and shy. But love to tease me to speak more in Mandarin.

I love you guys so much, I hope that I get to stay after the probation ended which is very soon.


Love:
I love to write this part of the blog. Even though I am not an expert in telling a relationship, but I love to express what I feel. My sweetheart Mr.S and me, we confessed and declared our love through fb message and my blog. Well, you might say this is the 21st century declaration of love and confession. It somehow make it more convenient and fast to pass on the message of what we felt. Imagine if it took like a week to send out what we wanted to say, will it be too late? The idea of writing and anticipation is something good which it tests our ability in patience but for me, sometimes a message that had passed on to the opponent might be too late that some damage cannot be undone. Writing to each other had became our routine. How it started was we met in facebook once again after a long lost connection back in high school. We started with a few sentences and ended up with a long and meaningful message. Imagine, we already had a 101 messages in just one subject which started with an introduction. What I can say here is that, Mr.S really complete my life and to him only that I will say this that I am really in love. To what degree of the love can be, I do not know. But for sure, it is something that I cannot imagine and goes beyond what I am capable of.

Life:
My life is so complete that I felt like I do not dare to ask for more in return. I just appreciate of what I have now and I hope it will sustain till the very end of my life. In love is just one part that help me to feel so complete, the others will be the appreciation of what I have now either job, family and friends. Thank you!

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Trade off

Being in love is a bitter sweet surrender. I am near but yet so far from all the vanity of love. I thought everything suppose to be just the moment that pause in our life to enjoy. Alas, time will never stop at the peak point where you expected the most. Everything has a "trade-off", a term of someone once said to me. I totally agreed upon the definition of declaration of love that we need to trade off for something. I am not a perfect lady, I am not someone that are so special that gets all the luxury of love from anyone. When a betrayal had been breach upon the commitment that we had promised, everything just went tumbling off. Since when, the word "I LOVE YOU" become something that need to be a promises?

Job
This will be my fourth week. I can hear cash flipping around the corner. That's right, pay check day soon. But this is not the end of the point. The workload suddenly becoming more and more challenging and life seems to be so hectic and unpredictable. As a designer, we are a solver. We need to find the solution to deal with whatever is beyond our border. This is what I have been doing so far though this week, it seems to be very unproductive. I need to regroup myself into who I use to be and become stronger at one point to with stand all the obstacle. This is the trade off when it comes to work. TIME, YOUTH & RELATIONSHIP. I've included three of these even though all related back with time. YOUTH- facing the computer almost everyday is not a very good idea as well as the position while I am doing my work. All wrong! TIME- well duh, time itself is money, youth, pleasure and many more that you need to give up for. RELATIONSHIP- juggling with hectic life, since when we have the time to have a good time spending together?

Love
What we trade off for LOVE? MONEY, TIME, YOUTH, TRUST and our own PLEASURE. Being in love is fine as long as each companion scarifies something for the love one. Money to me is the biggest issue. A piece of advice, always pay equal share. Money to some might seems like very materialistic point of view where it should be separated from love. But to me, financially, we both have to share equally, in term of food, traveling and etc. Time, once again, you need to give up some of your time to make everything works well. It is not to say that one have to give up part of their life till that drastic, but just a simple 30mins will be good enough to let the others know how much it meant to him/her. Youth, is an issue especially for the woman like me. I'm heading to my 30s soon and the stereotyping idea of the general population love to criticize women who aren't married by that age and starting to JUDGE. Yes, I put it in upper caps to emphasize the urge of some women when it comes to that age will start to pressure their loves one to get married. To me, this is all a piece of crap. Would I marry just because I know I'm 30s and haven't found my soul mate yet? Do not jump into that situation just because everyone said it so. I do not believe in marriage at one point. But at a very minor of myself, I love to tell myself that I want a family to be raised and have a grand wedding to be proud of. After all, I'm still a woman that once a while become a girl who loves to day dream of fantasy.

Life
My life started to become more complicated. Why I'm saying so is because, I have too many thing to juggle at a same time. Love in particular. My separated life have becoming a burden that sometimes I felt like giving up the other side just to lessen the heavy load. This is the beauty of life, another term that once said by one of my closest friend. The varieties of it makes our life so complete. Without the other side, will actually tumble ourselves into a very monotonous life. However, isn't this what I said before a simple life? Which one is more desirable? Trade off again. We need to give up sometime at one point. But when will that be the final call? Time will prove everything.

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