Realities and Fantasies

"Is a bliss when you just act dump or be a dummy for a day", a statement that once said by some guy/gal to convince us that it is true. When we acted too dump and leave aside our realities, we will get hurt so deep that none in the end will show us that what is our living all about. Yes I admit that I love to please, I even please someone to the extend that I never know who I really am anymore. Some might said that, "This is who you are. You love to please. So what?!". I always tell myself that, this is who I am but someone showed me how to stand up for myself. I have enough of pleasing, and this is what I'm going to do now. I should stop acting dump and move on to the life I always wanted. FREEDOM.

For my entire life I was living in a cocoon, being protected from the outside world which eventually I am so hurt inside. Being abuses by someone close, being too overly protected and selfish. I am an overly devoted girl friend that actually chocked myself and my love one to be out of breath. I had enough. Now all I wanted to feel is to travel all by myself to have the best out of myself. It is so abstract when I said that. No one will understand but myself. I always love you, but this time my love of my own self telling me that I must let go. Everything has a price to pay, and this time is my love.

I am a very spiritual person but to the extend of the level that is acceptable. Not like I have to perform some voodoo or witchcraft. I sense I was being entrapped and tangled up into something that I can never have. I always dream of a happy life, fairy tale ending and my prince charming will always stand by me and to fight for my love. Everything went deep down to the bottom of the drain now, because someone show me what the real world is. I'm awake now and no longer be cling to your love. Hope that you won't think that I do not love you anymore, it is because I love you too much that I must let go myself.